#i'm just always working on multiple things at the same time and stuff piles up

[artist-rat]

quick existential crisis vibe check 👍

[aloesarchives]

JJK Drabble #2

Tw/Warnings: Fem!Reader, Fluff, Fluff Brainrot, Domesticity, Family Man Toji, Usage of Wife and Mom, JJK Oc added

Pairing: Toji Fushiguro x Fem!Reader

Reader: Female, Usage of Wife and Mom

AU: Modern/"Toji Lives" Au

(A/N): I'm back! Well, kinda of. Long story short, dealt w/college stuff and had a health scare that kept me away from writing. Also had a mini burnout too. More is explained here!

Thinking about Toji taking up crocheting and knitting because he saw how expensive yet cheaply made certain items like blankets are made. So he buys a simple set to try it out, following Youtube tutorials and watching videos for ideas. Once he masters the basics, Toji is LOCKED IN once again. Making full on hand-made blankets, scarves, hats, mittens/gloves, stuffed animals, covers/cases, bags, scrunchies, even damn rugs. Anything you ask him for, he’ll make it. This ends up being very practical to Toji because he saves so much money by just making them at home himself. It has to be the premium, natural, good quality type. Organic cotton, wool, cashmere, alpaca/llamas, silk, linen, mohair, bamboo, hemp, all of that. Tell him about polyester or something and he tells you to put that shit back. He buys the premium yarn nearby, locally, or gets them imported internationally. Gets every and any colors because he never wants to be limited when making his projects.

There was a throw blanket you wanted for the couch but it was expensive and the size was a lot smaller than you hoped. The next day, you come home to see Toji making it for you. The same color but better quality and inexpensive, and it was the size you wanted too. You were happy and amazed that he made it within a day. Living off your praise and approval, Toji just makes everything. Since he can’t get carpal tunnel or arthritis, his hands and wrists never get tired from working. Though, his posture does get bad and his back aches from being hunched over. The blanket in your bedroom with Toji? He made that shit with fucking love and care. He actually made multiple ones depending on the weather and season. 

Man has even made throw pillows, regular pillows, water bottle cases, table cloths, coasters, bags, cushions, and made your own curtains. I mentioned before that everything in your home was either made, customized, or renovated by Toji. This stays TRUE because almost all the pillows and blankets in the house are his creation. The blankets and pillows that cover Megumi and Tsumiki’s beds? All Toji. Both pillows and blankets match each other and are in respective colors for the two. Megumi has one at his dorm because it gets cold over there and he hates sleeping in the cold. 

If you are a stuffed animal fiend, like me, you ask Toji to make you any stuffed animal you want. Definitely make squishmallow dupes for you if you asked him. In your personal room/office, there’s a pile of stuffed animals in the corner from Toji that you pluck one from the pile and hold it while relaxing or walking around the house. The ones he loves to make are bees, dragons, whales, dolphins and dogs. And they’re so soft and huggable, you squeeze them all the time. Toji just grins to himself knowing the things he makes brings you and the kids happiness.

Toji “Anything my wife wants, my wife gets. No questions asked” Fushiguro

It’s normal for you to come home to see Toji crocheting/knitting away at something. You either find him in three places at home: the engawa in front of the courtyard and garden, the family room with the shoji doors open, or in his personal room/office. Mostly, he sits outside sitting on the engawa working away at something. It makes him work better, or so he says. Makes his own needles and hooks because of his big hands. Megumi still has his crocheted stuffed puppy when he was younger, still going strong even though it’s been worn down from love. Tsumiki has all the Sanrio characters knitted/crocheted as gifts from Toji.

Tsumiki always wears her hair up in a ponytail, Toji makes her scrunchies in her favorite designs and colors. Her favorite cardigans and pullover sweaters that keep her warm during fall and winter were made by Toji because he wanted to try making outerwear. Luckily it worked in his favor. Tsumiki asked Toji if he could make her a tote bag because she needed a bag for outings. She comes home from school one day to see three of them in different sizes. She has those cute little flower keychains on her school bag and outing bags too because she asked Papa Toji for them. The massive white and blue circle rug in her room is from Toji.

Megumi’s winter scarf, earmuffs, and hat are made by Toji too. Megumi will never admit it out loud but he appreciates that Toji made it for him. They keep him and he doesn’t feel the wind chills nipping at his face. Megumi also appreciates his dad for making his stuffed animals. I’m projecting here but Toji made a set of plush stuffed animals after his shadows. His divine dogs, all of them. Megumi keeps them on his stuffed animal net in the top corner above his bed. Megumi wears a jacket and hoodie made by Toji all year round because of how versatile they are. In general, they’re Megumi’s favorite clothes to wear too.

Thinking about asking Toji to make a present for Nobara and Yuuji on their birthdays. You asked Nobara what her favorite color and style was while Yuuji said he wanted a new hoodie. Toji makes them pretty fast and the two are in love with their gifts. Nobara is wearing her bag EVERYWHERE, and I mean, EVERYWHERE she goes. Yuuji, like Megumi, ends up loving his hoodie that you always see him wear when he’s in casual clothes. Since Nanako and Mimiko grew up with Megumi and Tsumiki, one of Nanako’s cardigans and a pair of her socks are made by Toji while Mimiko only has a random plushie Toji made for her when she was younger because Suguru had to clean the other one.

Not me thinking about how Tsumiki, Megumi, and Mayumi(JJK OC) baby blankets are handmade by Toji himself with their own individual design and patterns. Megumi and Tsumiki’s are still in good condition even though they were lovingly used by the two throughout their whole life. Their baby hats, socks, and certain outfits were all made by him. He keeps them all in individual boxes to not lose them. Gets sentimental and nostalgic that you catch him staring as he holds the small clothes in his big hands. Reminiscing about Megumi and Tsumiki being babies and small children, now realizing that they are growing up before his eyes.

God, all of it is thoroughly well knitted and crocheted that people thought you bought it from a store. “No, actually my husband made it for me. Isn’t he skillful and amazing?” Your friends and co-workers lowkey ask you if Toji is willing to take commissions for them. They’ll pay for it obviously but they want good quality home-made items Toji makes which gives you an idea. You asked Toji if he considered making orders for other people besides his family. He did think about it but he said he would get overwhelmed when receiving orders and packing them up. You asked him if dealing with the orders and packaging them would help him change his mind. So you unintentionally set up a small business with Toji. His shop consists of blankets, bags and baskets of any kind, pot holders, rugs, coverings, and pillows. It runs where one week is for receiving orders, one month is for making them, and another month to send them out. Making a spreadsheet/list for Toji to show what he needs to make. Probably gets finished with all the orders in two weeks or something.

For some reason, Toji wears eye-glasses when he knits and crochets. You don’t know why but it makes him more handsome that your brain rots/short circuits every time you see him working away. He got you all flustered and down bad it’s insane(but absolutely valid). But you don’t understand why he would need them since he already has better vision and eye-sight than 99% of the population.

“Honey, since when do you need glasses?”

“I need it so I don’t strain my eyes when working on them?”

“Can you, like, squint? You already have 20/10 vision. You don’t need glasses when you have superhuman vision, Baby.”

“Doll, just because I have good eye-sight doesn’t mean my eyes aren’t as sensitive. My eyes are still bugged by light, shit hurts and gives me headaches. Anyway, can you pass me the blue yarn in front of ya?”

Megumi and Tsumiki always see you with their Toji. You’re chilling and minding your own business with their baby sister napping away while Toji is working away at a rug because he is bored. Even though he’s been doing this since they were young, the two still can’t get over how their dad can make a king-sized blanket(start to finish) in four hours. Or when they come home from school and see Toji finishing up on a big and long green dragon, turning to Megumi and Tsumiki asking them, “Do you two think your mom would like this?” Or they could be chilling then Toji asks them to try on the projects he finished to see how they look. Tsumiki and Megumi are his main critics, you are too but you aren’t bothered by certain details to criticize Toji’s projects so he leaves it to the kids.

Mayumi(JJK OC) is chilling by Toji as he’s working away, either sleeping away or playing with her stuffed animals close within sight. Being the three year old she is, she sometimes hides underneath the unfinished blankets and pops up from under to surprise Toji. Papa Toji gives his iconic DILF chuckle that has you  GEEKING and GIGGLING like a damn school girl when you get the chance to hear it every time. He just pats her head, calling her a little rascal or princess, then resumes.

I’m projecting once again but you know those cute crochet dolls? Like the ones with the big black eyes, big head, small body, and no mouth? Toji made those of the entire family. There’s one of himself in his iconic black compression shirt, white sweatpants, and kung fu slippers. He added a little scar too where his mouth would be. Then there is your’s, all pretty and pristine with your iconic outfit. Toji getting your colors and features down to the bone. Next is Megumi and Tsumiki, literal carbon copies of their real versions. Toji said Megumi’s hair was the hardest part to make lol. Then Mayumi’s doll is later added once she’s born. The mini Fushiguro Doll set sits on the top shelf of a pristine black display case, next to the tv, in the family room. 

He’s the type of guy you wouldn’t expect to be good at a skill like this then later found out he’s an absolute master and god among men. Toji doesn’t parade around craftsmanship because he knows how some guys have fragile egos. But he won’t shy away when people ask him about his work. Pulls out his phone to show people the things he made with two needles, one crochet hook, and a shit load of yarn.

Satoru, being the shitter he is, tries to tease and bully Toji about it. To which you reprimand and scold him for it. But Toji doesn’t care about dealing with his antics because it’s a practical skill and keeps him out of trouble. Then you remind Satoru that his winter scarf he always wears was made, the one you gifted him for his 18th birthday, was made by Toji at your request. Satoru never wore any scarf because he thought you made it for him. But for you to tell him Toji actually made it for him, Satoru shuts himself up and doesn’t shit on Toji anymore.

Toji loves it when his family uses/wears the things that he made. Usually wears a goofy smile or grin on his face to conceal his prideful yet satisfied self, knowing his creations are appreciated and loved by his family.

Tag List:

@luqueam @ploylulla @tqd4455 @wolywolymoley @captainbabybear @ravenswife

Tag List(@ w/ no links):

@szillx @g0th1xac1d @SleppyAnn @kneelarhmstrung

[signanothername]

Sooo... I'm back from the dead after dying from the overflow of too many positive emotions yesterday... (thanks for all the kind words 🩷)

And I'm back with another ask! Cool.

My question is not something necessarily related to the topic of the blog or anything, but rather about your artistic process?

So, personally I think many artists have those moments, or maybe specific paintings, that may just be emotionally draining. Like you're drawing a piece, and you don't like it for some reason, you try to change it, but you still don't like the painting, and you keep trying, but it's just something that's missing and you don't understand what it is and it just becomes frustrating and you start to get angry and-

Well, at least I seem to have such moments quite often (I dunno, maybe I'm just a perfectionist), and as far as I'm concerned different artists have their different ways to cope with this, so I wonder - do you have such moments sometimes and what do you usually do about it?

I'm sorry for the long ask I just can't keep things short and I'm just always curious about such things and the way different artists do stuff 😅

Hello!! Amazing to see you again! <33333 (of course!! Thank you for your kind words as well aaahh 😭❤️✨🌷)

As for your question, oooh boi, yes actually I have these moments A LOT, it’s cause i’m a perfectionist myself jdhdhdh

In fact, these kinda moments is why i sometimes give up on certain artworks or comics I make, and that’s why my wips just always seem to pile up, here are some examples of two artworks and a page of a comic I gave up on cause I just couldn’t for the life of me make them into what I wanted

And I will be lying to you if I said I have a solution for it or that I know how to deal with it

But I deal with it in two ways, I either completely delete the sketch i made and start over again

Or what I usually do is that I actually stop if i find the piece I’m working on emotionally draining, let go of the artwork and work on something else that i find fun, cause “giving up” doesn’t necessarily mean i will never get back to them, I see it as “taking a break” from the artwork till I get inspiration or motivation back to work on it again

Generally I’ve learned that in art, it’s ok to take things slow, I don’t always need to finish the artwork that I started before I start working on something else, in fact, taking things slow is how I made art much more enjoyable to me, cause it means I actually enjoy the process instead of treating it like there’s some sort of deadline above my head

To give you an example of what i mean, this artwork right here? Took me over 2 weeks to finish, not cause i couldn’t finish it quickly (in fact i can easily finish the same artwork in less than an hour) I just taught myself to take my time when making art, take things slow snd enjoy the process bit by bit, i worked on the quick sketch, closed it, then got back to it to work on cleaning it up multiple times, closed it again, then worked on coloring it and so on

And that’s also how i deal with artworks that make me frustrated, i take things slow, if i get frustrated then i simply close the artwork and work on something else till i have the motivation to work on what frustrated me again, that way i took a little break, and sometimes actually while working on something else you might get an idea on how to fix the artwork that frustrated you, but ultimately art is supposed to be fun not frustrating, so it’s ok not to finish artworks, it’s ok to abandon artworks if you don’t like them or if they emotionally drain you

That’s how i deal with it at least, but i say try to find your own path to how to deal with it, cause my way might not work for you, so i say experiment and find out :D

And nah don’t apologize i love long asks actually dychchch

[poibynt]

Thuggory, thinking

This is a short 1.5K Thuggory POV I wrote set between books 9 and 10, hopefully to be part of a larger fic focusing on this time period. So I'm chucking it here since it works as a standalone and not on Ao3. (this is barely spellchecked if you saw something wonky no you didn't)

CW: all the usual late series stuff, though is maybe focused on the Daily Horrors of it all a bit more than the series does.

Thuggory, son of Mogadon and only heir to the Meathead tribe, collapsed onto a chair in his room. He would not have allowed himself to so visibly display his own exhaustion if he weren’t alone, and if the world was not so newly and deeply trying. He’d been out on his feet the whole day, as he had done the entire week, and then the week before and the week before that the past three months. His role as son of the chief had taken a sharp and dramatic change in direction, and he had to admit to himself that it was taxing like it had never been before. 

Thuggory had always been easy going, with nothing much to think about or worry over. Why would he need to? He had floated through life, easily filling every role and expectation. He was strong, charismatic, attentive, respectful of his father and elders, but also able to admit his own failings and others strengths. He knew he was going to be a fine chief one day and he enjoyed dutifully caring for his tribe and helping his father in the meantime. Life had been simple and uncomplicated, full of laughing companions and scored goals and his father’s proud hand on his shoulder. Thuggory had never needed to think about anything. Oh he thought he had, in the Before, he thought he thought about plenty. He’d thought about fishing, and how others fought when he watched them, and what to eat for dinner. He had never had to think. The Thuggory of the After, though, thought. 

He scrubbed at his forearm absentmindedly, feeling the bandages under his fingers. Thuggory of Before had spent most of his time doing things he had thought to be important, but now felt hollow. He now spent most of his days fighting dragons, shoring up defenses, going over strategy with his father, and helping count and identify the dead. Many of the old smiling faces he grew up with or around he’d now seen glassy eyed and horrifically burned or slashed. Gone was almost everything Thuggory thought was a constant in life, the world turned distorted and twisted. 

He started removing his various weapons, piling them on the tiny desk in his room. They’d lost a quarter of the main island by now, but the largest village stood strong. The chieftain's hut was untouched, his childhood bedroom the same it always was. Except that he was older, more soot streaked and worn, and the weapons he carefully checked and tended to had tasted blood. It was…a disconcerting reminder of the simplicity of his old life. The newfound falseness of it. 

Because a world that had seemed so very very simple and uncomplicated had been engulfed by fire and chaos and uncertainty. He put on a good face about it all and rose to the task yet again, as he always had. He succeeded, as he always had. But Thuggory, during his few hours of rest he allowed himself, thought. 

He thought about the people he missed, the dragons he missed. Which got sticky very quickly. Because Thuggory missed dragons. They all missed dragons, he knew. They all felt the loss and horror at the state of the world and the necessity to do what must be done, but something else weighed him down. Guilt. Thuggory had loved Killer, his hunting dragon. He had thought he’d been fair and just in his treatment of Killer, had occasionally snuck him good bits of food off of the table when no one else was looking, given him bits of whatever kill they brought down together. And yet, on that fateful day it all went wrong, Killer had turned on him. They’d fought, and it had been a hard battle. For multiple reasons. 

Thuggory tested the sharpness of his battle axe, then grunted and reached for a whetstone. He thought he’d been fair, attentive, and respected. And yet, years together were thrown aside in a heartbeat. Everyone’s dragons had abandoned them in the end. Those who had beat their dragons into submission and those who gave them good muscles from the table both ended up betrayed and alone. Every single one of them, except for one boy. 

Thuggory had seen Hiccup, on the back of his riding dragon, suspended in a halo of light that dreadful day. Had seen that riding dragon fleeing across the sky, helping his rider as the entire dragon army followed. As far as Thuggory knew, Hiccup was the only person who’s dragon hadn’t rebelled against him. 

The Thuggory of Before didn’t think all that much, but he was still attentive. The Hooligans were their neighbors, and Hiccup was their heir. They were both going to be chiefs one day. With such an impressive first meeting, Thuggory had kept a proverbial ear to the proverbial ground. The trickles of rumour and tall tales had kept him fascinated. His friends had all dismissed Hiccup as some weird skinny nobody, and while Thuggory admitted he was weirdly scrawny and tentative for a Viking, it seemed like twice a year he pulled off something incredible! Things Thuggory could have only done if the sea boiled and the sky turned purple. Again and again Hiccup cheated death, discovered something impossible, fought and survived the scariest creatures and monsters the Barbaric Archipelago had to offer. Any gossip drummed up from these heroic stunts seemed to pass quickly, but Thuggory remembered. 

He’d been swayed a bit from his stance that Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the III was deeply and immeasurably cool when it was revealed that Hiccup had freed the dragon Furious, leader of the rebellion and the possible doom and destruction of the human race condensed into a single flying furnace. But Hiccups winning of the sword fighting competition, the speech he gave on his intention to end slavery and free the dragons, the subsequent revelation that Hiccup had the slave mark, the break out of one of the bloodiest battles in recent Viking history and the fact that Hiccup single handedly saved every Viking’s life that day had only complicated things further. 

Thuggory thought, as he cleaned the blood and guts from his weapons, honed their violent and deadly edges, preparing them for the next day of war. He asked something he rarely had ever asked in the Before times. Why? Why were they fighting this war? Why were dragons and humans dying in incredible numbers? Thuggory had been told all his life that dragons were immoral, cowardly creatures that needed firm hands. They were needed, so the Vikings used them. The Meatheads did not believe in cruelty, did not use chains or whips or cages. It was simply the way of things. Dragons could be immoral and cowardly, just like humans. But Killer was also steadfast, and loyal, and liked to perch on Thuggory’s shoulder and rest his head on the top of Thuggory’s helmet. Almost everyone had cared for their domestic dragons, had tended to them. Then why did they all rebel? 

Surely Killer knew Thuggory wasn’t planning on following the King's orders. Surely Killer knew that though Thuggory was aggressive and violent and a true Viking, that he wasn’t unfair or unhonourable. Surely Killer knew that Thuggory had felt something stirring in his heart hearing Hiccup’s speech, like something settling in correctly. Something that twinged every time Thuggory, a freshly minted warrior of the Wilderwest, raised his sword or his axe or his north bow or the new terrible weapons of war to fell a dragon. 

He wished, suddenly, that he could talk to Hiccup. Thuggory had dejectedly thought him dead for a month until reports and rumors started breaking of a rogue vigilante destroying dragon traps. Even the stupider Meatheads had a couple good guesses on the traitor's identity. Wishing for something like this felt wrong, for indeed it was against what Mogodon stood for these days. His father had fallen neatly behind the new king, and Thuggory wished things were simple enough that he could go along with his father just as neatly. But they weren’t. Instead, horrible thoughts tangled in his head, leading to no clear answer. The witch and the king, in whatever sparse correspondence reached the Meathead isles these days without carrier dragons, always spoke of the perfect world of the Before. But Thuggory, treasonously and dangerously, couldn’t help but wonder how was it perfect if it led to this? 

He pinched the bridge of his nose, setting aside the last dagger. He would try to clear his mind, and then join his father to discuss their options tomorrow. The dragons were concentrating on the Isle of Berk—Thuggory almost hoped a dragon would eat Chief Snotlout already—for some reason which meant the Meathead Islands were facing down the dragon fire as well. Their villages and fortifications were built to withstand human attack, not sustained dragon rebellion and they were struggling. It was time to start discussing options in the morning. But that was the morning, he had a couple more hours before he banished all his doubts away and became the good loyal son he had always been, and now wasn’t so sure he was anymore. He heaved himself off of his chair, fingers skimming over a burnt corner of the wood, one of the only mementos Killer had left him, paired with the scar across his ribs.

[queenerdloser]

dumping some work frustration here bc it's bothering me SO much

so my boss called me and my two other admin coworkers in last week to talk to us about how small things have been falling through the cracks lately and she wants us to tighten up. and like. that conversation, i get. obvs it's frustrating when genuinely stupid stuff causes problems or when things aren't double checked the way they should be, etc.

but the problem is that my boss. is so FRUSTRATINGLY bad at communication. like to the point where i have never once had her respond to me without taking two weeks (at MINIMUM) to do it. there are multiple projects i've been working on that have ground to a complete halt because she just never got back to me when i tried to ask her something.

and in the two years i've been working here, this has been a consistent issue. i've talked about it, my other coworkers have talked it, our secondary bosses have talked about it. our boss has brought it up at admin meetings before (always in this like joking/casual way???) as an issue she knows she has. so she's VERY aware of it. but she's not doing anything to like. fix it? like she point blank told me that it wasn't likely to change and i just needed to pester her more to get things i needed from her or to get a response.

and it's the most mind-bogglingly frustrating response i'm still kind of ???? about her just. saying that she's not planning to try to work on this consistent failure to respond to the point where it's causing work issues or that she doesn't plan to like come up with strategies to fix the communication issue. she's just going to keep doing it and put the onus on US to try to get her to respond faster???? like what the fuck is that all about! if i was going my job inadequetely and my response was "well that's just how it's going to be, so you have to come up with strategies to try to get me to do my job better" i would be fired, i'm pretty sure????

even more frustrating bc they decided, based on the small mistakes piling up, that our admin team needs to be in office three days a week now instead of two. which, whatever, that's fine, but they framed it not as a punishment but as a way to make sure people are around to be able to communicate with each other more. and then didn't schedule us to be in office on the same days. and like tbqh i communicate just fine with the other admin on my team this is also happening to. the person i can't communicate with? is my boss, who doesn't respond to anything and who, btw, is not going to increase her in-office days (currently set at 1 btw) even though if anyone needs to be in the office more to "foster more communication" it's her. like maybe if she was actually in office more, i could track her down to get the VERY SIMPLE ANSWER i need to the question i asked her three weeks ago.

idk man my boss also gave me some examples of where things for me personally had been causing issues and both examples she gave me were ??? bc one was about how i didn't check in with her about something that she already knew about and that i was aware she was doing (so why would i need to check in with her about it????) and the other was not following up on a form that i created for her to fill out (within a day of her asking for it to be created btw) that she then proceeded to not send back to me for literally a month and a half. except that i DID follow up on the form multiple times and every time i asked her about it, she said she'd get it to me that day and then never did.

like. i genuinely don't know how to say this to her face, but i am not a fan of being told that it's on ME to make sure that she responds to things. i'm sorry. but you've got to figure out how to manage that yourself, which you should be able to since you're literally my boss. what the fuck. i'm also busy!!! no, i don't want to have to message you every hour for one simple form you should have sent to me weeks ago!!!!

frustrating building too bc there's this report i need in order to finish creating this spreadsheet for data entry and i asked her to send it last wednesday. asked about it again friday, again today. not only has she not sent it, hasn't sent a single fucking confirmation she's even seen my messages or is working on it. i'm like. i can't even do this thing (which SHE ASKED ME TO DO!!!!! this spreadsheet data is stuff she specifically is asking for us to fill out!!!!!!) until i get this report. why do i have to hound you to do your fucking job!!! why am i the one being reamed for little mistakes and told i have to come into the office an extra day a week to make up for it when she can just get away with this kind of bullshit behavior?????????? ARGH.

[formosusiniquis]

what if i said multiples of 5 for the writing asks 👀

What if you did say that? Most of them are below the cut cause I don't know when to shut up 💕

and here are the writing asks for anyone else who wants to send some

5. What's a tag you never want to use for your works even when it applies?

Angst, like just the straight up angst tag for some reason I'm worried is going to deter people from reading so I end up softening it with something else instead. So it's always fluff and angst or angst with a happy ending.

10. Top three favourite fic tropes.

Enemies to lovers, Soulmates, Fake Dating - this was the hardest one to answer. It's like getting asked what your favorite book is and you don't remember how to read or what books look like.

15. What's your favourite plotless fic you have written?

This describes half of my catalog, plot I do not know her it is only vibes.

I'm gonna go with the bells, the joy (together in darkness) my Stobin hivemind fic which is plotless in the sense that it's more of an exploration of new Stobin unity and what a hivemind with humans would even look like. And any time I get to write Steve and Robin I have a good time

20. Do you work on a single project or many at the same time? How does that work for you?

Many at the same time, it does not work for me but it is what I do all the same. My writing tracker (where everything goes once more than 10 words have been written on a project) has 33 entries currently from the last year or so that are unfinished and in varying stages of progress. But if I start something and don't finish it immediately esp one shots they tend to get abandoned on the pile.

At least until they're lucky enough to grab my attention on a procrastination re-read and I finish them in one sitting (looking at you have your cake)

25. Is writing the whole thing beforehand better or worse than writing it as you go?

For me personally, I have unfortunately realized I have to have the whole thing or almost the whole thing completely written beforehand. I think I may be used to be able to publish as I wrote (like back in high school when I was writing The Mentalist stuff on ff.net under a pseud none of you will ever find). But with my chronic pick it up and abandon it once i'm bored disease I'm just to bad about actually finishing stuff. (RIP mi media naranja some day I will at least post the other chapters I have written that I've felt too bad about posting since it's been so long. but also i still want to finish you)

30. Describe a fic that almost happened, but then it didn't.

I hate saying it didn't happen, because if it's a Wip in my folder there's always a chance I'll finish it one of these days. And I'm so one track minded that I rarely make massive changes to fics once I start them that drastically alter the plot from what they could have been.

That said it's been so long since I've written anything for Vandal that I feel pretty safe describing this Wip that will possibly never see the light of day.

It was one of those fics where the title comes to you first, y'know. So it was going to be called intricate rituals and it was a soulmate and magic au, convoluted already I know, where soulmates amplify your natural abilities through proximity and touch. Gabi has found hers in Jenna and Sam is a little upset about it. So he performs an ~intricate ritual~ that's supposed to bring his soulmate to him. This is of course where Peter comes in and they bond interpersonally but never touch because of character anxieties and social taboos so they don't realize they're soulmates for ages. There was probably also going to be a miscommunication element where they've touched but not touched like a hand through a shirt not counting it has to be skin on skin contact.

35. Thoughts on writing challenges/contests.

I enjoy them! I always end up trying (and usually failing) nanowrimo every year. I've participated in both a big bang and reverse bang now, and am currently white knuckling my way through this year's steddie bang. I like a challenge to get more creative and a deadline and accountability to actually finish something with some plot.

40. Write a 9-word fic.

Eyes met for a first time, Steve's first time.

[malcontent-crow]

OK, I've been working on cleaning everything in my house, just a small section at a time.

The problem is, I always fail at this. I get started, then I lose steam and just sink back into depression or anxiety or stress in general.

So I'm trying a new approach. I'm currently searching for a new job, and I'm likely going to need to move for it. And that's okay! I'm looking forward to having a place of my own and getting a pet, not just my roommate's or my parents' dogs.

BUT! This is giving me the chance to try something new.

Rambling below the cut...

I'm cleaning like I'm getting ready to move. And it helps that this is a very distinct possibility! My brain kind of likes (and loathes) having deadlines, but deadlines that I can break into smaller projects and give myself mini-deadlines to meet the big one are a bit more manageable.

And it's like a flip has been switched! Suddenly, I can see what I do and don't need. Do I want to pack this to move cross country? It's an easy yes-or-no question.

I have thrown away, recycled, donated, and sold so much stuff. Stuff that I don't want to take with me. It's so nice. And suddenly, it's easier to keep the spaces I've cleaned cleaner. I can already tell that I'll need to do at least a couple rounds for each space, but each bag of trash, each tray of recyclables, each box of donations it feels like I can breathe a little easier.

I don't know what works for everybody else, but this is really working for me.

I have a plastic bag hanging from the doorknob on each side of a door, open for trash, one for recycle. When they get full, I tie them off and toss it. Then I get a new bag and put it in its place.

I have a box in the hallway for donations, and another for things to sell.

I have a series of cardboard boxes and shoe boxes that I fill with things that simply don't belong in the room im working on. No organizing it, just putting it in the box. When the box is full, I move it to the room it belongs in.

But it is figuring out how to break the whole "clean everything" into bite-sized pieces.

Bedroom? I can and have gotten mired in that alone. So, the first step was getting everything that wasn't furniture off the floor. Then, sort that into a simple "does this belong in the bedroom?" piles. And most of it didn't! So it's dismissed from my immediate concern. Then, putting all the clothes that aren't put away where they go. Dirty clothes in the hamper, clean clothes on the shelves or in drawers. And right now, they don't even need to be folded. They just need to go away. Because of those things I've done, my bed is clear, and I have a workspace! Then, I go one drawer at a time, but never more than one drawer at a time. This makes sure I can stop at fairly short notice and still have a clean bed I can sleep in. Don't forget that with my bed suddenly clear, I can wash all my sheets and blankets, making everything feel even better.

Bathroom? Shower first. Then the countertop, then the cabinet, then the drawers. What products do I use? What do I not? Of what I don't, what's expired, what's new, what's donatable, what's not?

Kitchen? Pantry first. One shelf at a time. What's expired? What's stale? What's still good? What do I have multiples of? (Oh my god, so much honey. That's my fault. Everybody knows I like bees and their answer is to get me honey for gifts.) Rearrange it so what I use most often is at eye level, or one shelf above, or one shelf below. Bulk stuff, even if I use it often (rice) goes on the bottom shelf, but at the front of the shelf, so it's still visible. Then fridge. Same idea.

Crafting stuff and office space are next on my list, so I'll try to update this with how I go about it.

I've been at it for a few weeks now, but I can tell it's been making a difference already.

Wish me strength and endurance to keep it up!

[layingeggs]

Petal Crash Petal Crash Petal Crash! (Spoilers for unlockable stuff under read more)

Hahhh this game is good! I love this!

It took me ages to work up the practise and skill and combos to play through the arcade mode in medium difficulty with no continues. Then Super Lilibri comes along and beats me without taking any damage multiple times in a row even with the difficulty steadily lowering with each defeat.

When this happens, I usually just give up, because I want to beat her properly! Super Lilibri wants a good Petal Crash and I want to give her one!

But today, I decided sod it and I'll just burn through all my continues until the difficulty goes all the way down to 0 and she's finally within spitting distance of me. LOL

Actually, it only took me three attempts? I beat her on the third attempt. Also confirmed something I've been worried about for a while.

It seems to me that Petal Crash has no push and pull. Very much either you win everything or you lose everything. The garbage mechanic is fun, and it's cool that there's a way of 'attacking' and 'defending against' enemies in a puzzle game.

But once garbage blocks have been laid down, you are at a constant indefinite disadvantage. It's possible to remove the garbage blocks, but your opponent right now is setting up combos to send you more garbage blocks. Which means there's only two ways to recover.

Either you play at a much higher skill level than your opponent, (because you have to make combos at least as good as theirs while also navigating garbage blocks. They have no garbage so they can make the same quality combos with less effort.)

Or your opponent just starts daydreaming and playing very badly for no reason. (Not going to happen if we're being realistic.)

So once the garbage blocks pile up, there's basically no recovering from that? The amount of skill necessary to both destroy garbage blocks and make decent combos is significantly higher than the amount of skill necessary to just not get garbaged in the first place?

Going back to my fights with Super Lilibri. She beat me without taking any damage. Then again she beat me without taking any damage. Then when I finally beat her.

Literally, the very first match where I did any damage to her at all, was the first one that I won.

Brief aside, I've never actually played Puyo Puyo or Dr dot Mario or Sonic's Eggman's Mean Bean Machine. I've played plenty of tetris. But just tetris. Not any special competitive multiplayer tetrises.

I did enjoy GemStorm when I were little. But I don't remember if I was ever any good at it. That was when I was a little girl! Early memories of our first family computer and of the packard bell. (Anyone else remember My Room? I loved My Room. It were well good.)

So Petal Crash really favours the first person to make a big combo. It really is all downhill the moment you get any garbage blocks.

Which isn't even a bad thing really? I'm just not very good at competitive puzzle games. So I'm always begging for mercy as soon as the garbage drops on me. But that's kind of fun in its own way.

Finally beat Super Lilibri. Honestly, I was dreading having to fight some special secret character immediately after her! I thought the oft mentioned Libby or Baz would suddenly appear to challenge! Now I feel it's almost a pity they don't. :c

Also, why does Milla the super dog appear in the credits? I keep expecting her to show up somewhere!

For the time being, more Petal Crash.

[pepperf]

It's moving heavy furniture for me - down stairs, especially ones with corners. Everything else is doable, but...do I really need a double bed and a wardrobe and a table and a sofa at the new place? Can't I just sit and sleep and eat on the floor, and have my clothes in a heap, like a hamster?

I learned packing from my dad, who worked for a removals company for years, so I'm p damn efficient at it. Don't treat it as an opportunity to review all your items. Resist the urge to make decisions about whether or not you want to keep something. No. Nope. Everything's going. Accept that now, and it'll be much less stressful.

Books are the best, but you shouldn't be tetrising them, and it shouldn't take an afternoon. Grab half a shelf at a time, put them in a sturdy box, repeat until box hits its weight limit. Move onto next box. Takes like 10-15 mins to clear a whole wall of bookshelves. Don't read the goddamn titles, and don't pick them up one by one (unless of course you have motor issues).

Clothes stay on hangers or in drawers. For closets/wardrobes, take five or so hangers at a time, wrap clothes around hangers, throw in box, repeat until box is full. They'll be ready to re-hang at the other end. For drawers, you've basically got a ready-to-go removal box: take out the drawers, move the frame, reload drawers. Same in reverse at the other end.

Kitchen stuff is annoying, but wrapped in enough paper you don't need to worry about jigsaw puzzling it together, bc it's all just squishy. Don't wrap it tightly - you want lots of air around those fuckers. Put paper between things to stop hard surfaces rubbing together. If plates are cheap, just take a stack of ones the same size, wrap it all in paper, put it on its side (like this: |||) in the box. Do a cupboard at a time, into one or two boxes, then it's ready to move back in together at the other end. Make any decisions about rearranging LATERRRRR.

And I can't emphasise enough, don't start making 'to keep', 'to sell', 'to give away', 'to throw' piles. If you're organized, you can do that in the lead-up, and if (like me) you're not, you can do it when you unpack. Or in six months! Or in five years! Believe me, it's going to make precious little difference to the amount you have to move, and a hell of a big difference in the time it's going to take. Switch your brain off and make like Wall-E. Start at one end and work your way to the other. You have this volume of stuff, to fit into this number of boxes, with the least fuss possible.

Always get more boxes than you think you'll need. Bubblewrap is nice but expensive, and you don't really need it - use paper, loosely scrunched - the scrunching is what's important here, it provides cushioning. Decent boxes, plenty of paper, GOOD tape, multiple markers - that's the secret to straightforward moving.

(That said, next time I move, I'm hiring people to do the actual heavy lifting. I have heavy furniture, three sets of stairs, and I'm simply not up to the job, so fuck that. But I will pack, bc I'm not paying someone to do it when it's really not that hard.)

People really like saying that having a lot of books makes moving difficult, but honestly, packing books is the single calmest part of moving for me. You get to play live action Tetris for an afternoon, you just separate them into small boxes so you don't throw out your back, and you don't have to worry about anything breaking.

You know what's actually the worst part of moving? Literally every part of the kitchen. Nothing makes me wish humans had never evolved out of the fucking ocean like having to pack mugs. I wish I was a fungus.

[mariii1]

DRAIN GANG

✨️Who Would Be The Perfect Friend For You?✨️

Might do a future partner reading but I have enough love stuff. I think I'm gonna focus on making queer coded content for the rest of the month because I can.

EDIT: Tried cleaning up most typos, just saw "purple" instead of "people"🤦🏾‍♀️

Pile 1

Who they are

Someone who doesn't dwell on negative experiences. I'm tired of readers saying on the past, because most of the time that is not accurate/specific to how people's brains work. This is someone who doesn't ruminate on negative and sometimes, even positive experiences. They often don't rely on their past in order to calculate their next move. They just go, just do it regardless of how it was before, especially if they've got a chance at succeeding. This is also someone who doesn't rely solely on the opinions of others, positive or negative, in order to do something. They always trust themselves and their own opinion first or on the same level as others. This is someone who understands nuance, context, and the gray area as well. They can easily see and understand how multiple things can be true at once. They also aren't insecure, they might have a few shallow insecurities about themselves. You could've met this type of person in your childhood, although you may not know who this is. I think they are someone who could really dislike the community in new age spirituality (for good reason as well).

Why are they good for you?

This person could come off as cocky to you but for some of you, it's because you are the complete opposite. This person is very much what you need to get what you want in your life. They may not preach to you about what you need to do, but everyone you look at them, you're gonna see a lesson/ you're gonna understand something new. I feel this could also be someone that hates traditionalists and any kind of normativity. Very cool person pile 1.

Pile 2 - you could be connected to pile 3 or 4

Who are they?

Someone who not afraid to go after something new. Whoever picks pile 3, could be the perfect friend for you. They'll plan it and actually set out to do it. This could be someone who isn't very emotional. In a sense, they are someone who may not be very expressive but they still know how to communicate. They talk things out instead of throwing tantrums or moods. This could also be your perfect partner. They don't rush into things at all. I actually feel although they're not afraid to do something, they take a lot of time. They are very cautious and precarious; they want to do thing things thorough and right the first time.  I also heard they want to "do you" in this way to. This is for some you, your perfect friends with benefits or a strictly sexual partner. They don't rush into things and will never force others to. Of course they want to see effort, but they don't pressure people to do things.

Why are they good for you?

They're not stingy. I feel like if they really like you they will give to you. And this doesn't have to be in a material way either. They might just be very giving with their time. They want to hang out with you, they want to do other stuff and spend time with you.  You might have hung around people in the past who made you feel lonely and this person won't.

Pile 3

Who are they?

Could be your future partner. I strongly feel for most of you this is a future partner.They're straightforward with what they want. This applies to their life as well, they have no problem being about whqt they want and at least teying to get it/trying it out regardless of the outcome l. If they feel something is good for them, they'll take a leap of faith. That is really all I'm getting/what makes them the perfect fit for you.

Why are they good for you?

They work hard. They're mostly focused, that doesn't mean they don't know how to enjoy themselves. They do what they want and work hard for it. They take care to invest in themselves, not necessarily in the capitalistic luxury self care kind of way but putting money into their hobbies. Working so they can grow a collection, building a community garden so everyone including them can eat better, etc. They care for themselves which in turn can also help others. Maybe a bit of a socialist or someone who fantasizes about functional collective care communes.

Pile 4

Who are they?

Could be seeing 666 or 444 a lot. Someone who isn't interested in romance or they don't place romance above all other forms of relationships. If you're aro/ace this is the person for you. They're not going to talk about romantic relationships all the time or talk about attractiveness or marriage or child, etc. They're very much over amanormativity (I just learned that word today yay! Check out Tara Mooknee's channel to learn more) This could have been something you had to deal with a lot in the past, especially through religion for some. They really forge their own path and life and probably have a lot of other interesting personality traits but these stand out the most. I would suggest you pick out other piles if you feel called to.

Why are they good for you?

As I said you could've dealt with romance hindering relationships in some shape before. They're very focused and quite sure of what they want, even if they aren't always sure of themselves as a person. They know how to mind their own buisness. This isn't somebody that likes drama even if they don't mind hearing about it. They're chill, they don't assume stuff about themselves and other people and maybe very self aware (not self conscious).

Pile 5

Who are they?

Someone who isn't neurotic. They're "weird", other people may say that about them. They could also just be neurodivergent. They know how to take care of themselves. Extremely resilient to neuroticism. They aren't the type to force themselves to "heal" or go to therapy. They really listen to themselves and go with the flow. They don't get angry or fed up quickly. They also don't give up easily but they know when something isn't working out for them. They rarely ever get desperate for stuff.

Why are they good for you?

This person is perfect for you because you could be complete opposites in some way. They're not insecure about themselves, specifically things they can't change. They're quite accepting of their habits and know when to make adjustments for themselves. You could be newly sick, going through side effects of something or suddenly disabled in some way and this person could teach how to readjust in a way that works for you.

[holdontwstistakingovermymind]

Heartslabyul and Poly!Mc Headcanons.

Yes this is what I'm starting with. I want to do some poly stuff but there's a lot of boys lmao.

So, this is polyamorous with the Hearts dorm, but whether or not the others are apart of it is up to you. It's not explicitly added just for the sake of my sanity. Hope you like it, this is my first work for Twisted! I'm still trying to get a good feel for all the characters so bear with me!!

Cater is definitely the most outwardly flirtatious.

He's not opposed to public displays of affection and actively posts photos with you on his social media without really any care. In classes he's also been known to wink at you from across the room, which has nearly gotten him in trouble a few times.

Ace isn't as bold as Cater is, but he isn't as afraid of PDA as some of the others seem to be or at least, that's what he thinks. He can't really reason why Riddle, Trey, and Deuce are more reserved in their romantic expressions.

Truthfully Trey and Deuce are just a bit more self-aware of how uncomfortable it makes others feel to see your displays of affection.

Riddle on the other hand is more on the reserved side, which is to be expected. That being said, he becomes confident when he's alone with you.

(^He also tends to get a little bit flustered when the others show affection to you so openly. It's hard to tell if this is because he's jealous or just embarrassed.)

Ace and Deuce are probably the ones that take up most of your time. They have more classes with you and less responsibilities then the others do. The former tends to brag about this fact whenever he can. Especially around Riddle.

Thankfully it's not hard to settle Riddle down. At least, not for you.

Ace is kinda SOL if you're not around. It's not really hard for Riddle to find an actual, justifiable reason to "cut off his head".

And it's not like they can solve their problems by themselves either.

Which is why you have often been woken in the middle of the night by one or more of the boys, either complaining about the others or pleading with you to "Make Riddle take this stupid thing off my neck!"

^For some reason everyone thinks you can control the Queen of Hearts.

Thankfully Riddle realizes this, and tries his best to manage the group without your assistance. He does want you to be able to sleep.

Trey feels the same way, but it's a little harder for him to accurately discipline the freshmen.

Speaking of Trey, his position as vice head really benefits him in this relationship.

Whilst he doesn't have as many classes with you as Deuce and Ace, he does have the ability to just show up and basically pull you out of almost whatever you're doing under the guise of needing your assistance.

(You start getting suspicious after the fifth time he needs your help to set up afternoon tea, but he's far too charming for you to actually call out)

Cater will usually follow you around whenever he has free time. He's gotten kicked out of lots of your classes because he's not meant to be there.

He's also been kicked out of your dorm for the same reason, usually by Grim.

Sometimes this even happens when you have multiple members of the dorm staying over. This usually ends with Cater either sulking outside until you let him in (after a quick run-around with Grim) or Cater using magic to come in.

Ace says this is cheating, Deuce disagrees.

Trey just laughs when multiple Caters begin to pile up outside.

(How many Caters does it take to change a lightbulb?)

Riddle doesn't get to come to sleep overs as often as the others, but usually he's always hyper-aware of his, and everyone else's, behavior.

Often apologizes for the younger two's behavior, like you didn't know what you were in for when you signed up for this mess.

Cater still gets in trouble despite being older. Usually it is because of something he posts online.

(Riddle has a thing about representing the dorm well, even with your relationship. Cater on the other hand is a little more... "normal" in his expectations, especially when outside of the dorms.)

The guys are always trying to one up each other -with a few exceptions of course- but when other dorms get your attention? That's when they use whatever you taught them to actually work together.

You wished they'd do this when it was actually important.

Trey and Riddle do try though, but between Cater giving his socials the play by play and Deuce and Ace having minor, petty disagreements, it's probably always going to fall on your shoulders to solve their little spats.

At least they're fun and incredibly loving. Otherwise you might be babysitting more then anything else.

But, really, you do think children would be better picking up after themselves.

[vivi-the-goblin]

YES YES YES this SO much. I get it, it's cathartic when they get taken down, but if you watch nothing but train wrecks you're going to be overly wary of the rails. I'm not saying to never ever ever watch anything negative. I am saying that it's easy to overindulge, and you need plenty of inspiration as well. Some of my favorite moments in Tabletop ultimately come down to the GM saying "Yes this is in conflict with the rules. However, those rules were only made to forcibly prevent people from having the power to be an asshole, and I trust you to not be one." You don't GET that when 90% of what you consume is horror stories, and you've trained your pattern-focused mind to be wary. Should you keep an eye out for problems? Of course. Will some appear? Eventually, probably. But we come prepared for issues, not expecting them, or we will create them. What you get out of this game is what you put into it, so make sure to find things that make you want to keep playing! Stuff with moments to strive for, not just ward against. I know some people also watch them to see what to look out for. With routine maintenance (communication), you'll often clear up issues before you even notice them. But if you're watching for a lesson, I can tell you the lesson from almost all of them. They almost always boil down to 2 conflicts. "we didn't talk about our issues while playing the talking game, and without any attempt to solve problems they piled up to a breaking point." or, "Someone was a dick and everyone knew it and we knew it wouldn't change as long as they were there. So instead of leaving or making them leave, I legally changed my name to Sōsuke Aizen and launched a 6 year plan of manipulation that worked flawlessly cause I'm just that clever. They left screaming and crying in rage and everyone agreed I'm the best." The solution is just to talk to each other, and if you can't come to a compromise, eventually someone leaves. Maybe you, where you will find a group you do like. Because when you're open to what you enjoy, you will know when you've found a good one. Will you hurt friendships? Not the worthwhile ones. It's happened to me multiple times. Things got too heated, someone got banned. Usually they were back a few months later and never had an issue again. Often it was prevented entirely because we realized it was just a style clash. Either something changed cause we talked about it, the person found a way to have fun regardless, or shrugged and said "I love ya, still my friend, but we're not after the same thing so I'm finding a new group." Seek out positivity, assume ignorance instead of malice, and talk with each other. If you're all on board with that, games run smooth.

Hot Take: You need to wean yourself (and your friends) off of those "DM horror stories" because they're filling up your brain with a false impression of what TTRPGs are really like. Yes, everyone has bad experiences from time to time, but if you subject yourself to a never ending diet of secondhand cringe and hollow validation it's going to rot out the foundations of trust and openness that form the backbone of healthy gaming groups.

Most of it is made up outrage bait to feed the algorithm, as nonsense and one sided as those "and then everybody clapped" facebook copypastas your bigoted relatives circulate whenever they want to feel smart about something. You're better than that, you don't need to feed your ego garbage.

Instead seek out things that inspire you, from liveplay tables with healthy dynamics you want to emulate to art that feeds your creativity. Hell, rather than giving time to imaginary people you hate, why not spend that time you'd otherwise spend drifting down the rabbithole chatting with some people you actually like.

[putschki1969]

Hi Puts, I have a question, but maybe it's too personal. As a fan, how much money do you spend? I think the three FC alone cost about $130 a year. Each shipment to Mexico costs between $20 and $50, including fees. Buying CDs, DVDs, streaming tickets, shop items, magazines (Idk if Hikaru and Keiko send something like Botanical Tsushin) I think is quite a bit of money. I graduated this year and recently started working, so I'm wondering how much money I need to pay for everything I want.

Hello there!

Don't worry, I have no filter so there is literally nothing too personal you could ever ask me. Also, I think it's important to be transparent about stuff like that.

Before I get to the juicy details I want to preface this post by saying that I am in a very privileged position so using my fangirl expenses as a general reference is probably not the best idea. There is free education and public health care in my country so I do not have any debts from either of those. On top of that I do have a job with a decent salary and my monthly fixed costs are comparatively low since I share the rent and stuff with my mum (yup, I am 30+ and choose to live with my mum, sue me). My company pays for public transportation, internet and a big portion of my meals. Last but not least, I have no car, no partner, no kids, no pets, no other social commitments or anything else that would burden me financially aside from my obsession with Kalafina so I am free to spend a considerable amount of my income on my "hobby" without having to worry too much about running into debt or not having enough savings.

Having said that, I will openly admit that I spend a SHIT-TON of money for my girls, much more than I am honestly comfortable with. Yes, I can more or less afford it but it still brings me a lot of pain and tears every single day.

Now let's get into the details 〈(•ˇ‿ˇ•)-→ [Like you I will be using USD for easy understanding]

I honestly cannot tell you a definitive number since my expenses always change depending on how many events and releases are scheduled for a particular time period. I guess I can provide a rough overview of what I am currently spending on Kalafina since there are quite a few things happening right now (nothing compared to last December though).

The four FCs I am part of with their combined costs of roughly $150 are what I consider to be “negligible costs” and they are really my least concern in the grand scheme of things.

The streaming tickets are very cheap in my opinion and I would gladly pay even more for them if it meant I wouldn't have to spend a fortune on regular trips to Japan. But yeah, it's another $150 to $200 a year for various streaming events.

Releases and merch are pricey in and of themselves (incl. around $5-$10 of domestic shipping) but it's made even worse when you are crazy like me and buy multiple copies of something just to get special benefits. Recently I have ordered Hikaru's merch (~$100), Keiko's merch (~$50), Wakana's merch (~$120) and three *coughs* copies of Wakana's Blu-ray (~$220). I also made sure to purchase Hikaru's albums on iTunes (~$20) even though I already own the CDs.

International shipping/import fees is where the costs pile up and I usually end up paying anywhere from $20 up to $150 for packages. Austria has literally the WORST import regulations T_T

I also indulge in the occasional Kalafina fashion item so that gets pretty expensive too. But that’s just me so there is really no need to take these costs into consideration.

So yeah, you can expect to spend a LOT of money depending on how greedy you are. :P Being an overseas Kalafina-fan sucks! However, I have two tips for you:

Prioritising is key! Find out what’s most important to you and then make peace with the fact that you will never be able to buy everything because that’s just not reasonable (unless you are filthy rich :P). I obviously focus on digital and physical music releases because that’s how you support their solo careers. I know it’s tempting to pirate this stuff but I urge all fans to make those purchases. The same applies to live stream tickets. If you have the means and the event is foreigner-friendly, please go for it! Aside from that, you will just have to choose your orders wisely. Ask yourself the questions: What kind of benefits do I prefer? What merch am I most likely to use? Any merch I am particularly fond of? Make sure you don’t end up overspending. While I keep encouraging fans to spend their money, you should always do it within reason. 

Cluster your orders! If you are using a proxy service like Tenso or Buyee, it’s best to have items arrive around the same time so you can consolidate your packages (within the 30-day period). After all, there is nothing more frustrating than paying $20 on shipping for a tiny fan club magazine that’s basically for free. So before you make a purchase, check the scheduled shipping time and try to make your orders align with each other. And also try to pay attention to the shipping dates of FC-related items, that’s not always easy since the schedules aren’t exactly regular but you can at least get a feel for them. If a FC item happens to arrive at the warehouse, you could always use that opportunity to order some in-stock goods or releases you have had your eye on. They should arrive quickly so you can ship them together with the FC-item. Please note that this will of course increase shipping costs/import fees since your packages will get bigger/heavier but I think at the end of the day, you are still saving money.

I know it’s often frustrating and intimidating to navigate through the world of Kalafina but I hope my posts can at least somehow help to alleviate the the stress that comes with being an overseas fan.

[togglessymposium]

Reminded, distantly, of a reading program my (public) school had in 5th grade. The deal was this- you'd read a book from the school library, then answer a short quiz about it. In retrospect this was a fairly amazing feat, I have no idea how they wrote a quiz for most of the books in their library, but they almost always had one. If you could demonstrate reading comprehension with the quiz, you got a certain number of points, and the points could be spent on concessions and prizes.

At the low end this was the sort of eraser/pencil/sticker stuff you'd expect, but at the high end they offered days off from school. It took around 10-15 books' worth of points, but every six week period they'd load up a small bus with whichever kids bought the prize, take them to the mall, buy them pizza, and set them loose in the arcade all day.

(This is at least a third of the reason why I'm still so fond of the Redwall book series.)

Anyway, the point is that I think many challenges faced by schools these days follow not from the multiplicity of functions they serve or the tension between those functions, but from the fact that everyone is devoted to the polite fiction that they're purely educational, and that all this other stuff is secondary. Most of the times I was happiest in school- and, indeed, the times I felt most seen and respected in school- were when the teachers and powers that be acknowledged that they didn't really have much to teach me, and offered a safe, comfortable space to hang out, explore my interests, and make friends. A universal program of education means that some kids are simply going to exhaust the utility of the school's education mission almost immediately, and every kid is going to experience the classroom as basically Procrustean, and it's basically fine to fill 20% of the classroom with a pile of pillows and a bookshelf as an overflow plan to accommodate these differences.

If we decide that prison-for-kids is basically a socially desirable thing, then I suspect we'd be in a much better place if we collectively acknowledged that education is one of the things that this institution does, instead of trying to smuggle in all these other important functions while pretending that everybody needs the same six hours a day to reach competency in writing or mathematics. By all means, set minimums on educational attainment and make sure each cohort is capable of meeting specific milestones- and even provide parallel tracks for students and families that want to fast-track academic and technical careers- but don't treat 'down time' as the enemy either. We bow to this a little bit already, with e.g. recess periods, but those are currently framed as a sort of lunch break from school.

Instead, something very much like recess (though not just outdoor play, with indoor game and toy rooms as well) seems like it should be the default at 'the thing no longer quite called school', with that kind of unstructured play being interrupted by structured learning periods. Instead of torturing the definition of 'classroom' enough to make 'P.E.' a thing, just actively encourage sport, have official teams in a variety of games, and include physical fitness checks as part of the kids' yearly progress assessments. Get comfortable with field trips not just to museums, but also to places like public pools or even movie theaters, for no other reason than that they're fun. You can certainly construct this environment in a way that's slanted towards high achievement and personal growth, without needing to point towards education as the sole source of legitimacy. If you're gonna make a public institution designed to collect and safeguard kids during their parents' working hours, to prevent them from being economically exploited during crucial developmental periods, to provide a check on abusive home environments, to provide them cross-cultural socialization experiences, then by all means- but build that in to the foundation of the thing.

Oh, boy! It's Education Theory o'Clock again!

...I have a lot of thoughts on this topic. At some point, when I'm less busy and tired, I should probably try to write them up. Natively, I'm one of the school-is-a-nightmare-prison people, like so many others in this little discourse-sphere -- but I'm married to a middle school teacher, so I regularly encounter both the good arguments from the other side and the facts on the ground, and those things have altered my perspective somewhat.

But I am, in fact, busy and tired. So for now I'll just content myself with saying:

School is an institution that serves many, many, many purposes at the same time. A lot of those purposes are load-bearingly important. (A couple of years ago, I wrote this about college, and...it's double-plus true for primary and secondary schools.) If you don't try to account for all of that stuff in your theory of What School Is and How School Works, you will generate incoherent garbage thoughts. If you have a New Concept for school entailing top-down design that is optimized for a single function (like "increasing test scores" or "causing kids to love learning" or whatever), you'd better have a plan for how you're going to do all the other important things that schools do. And even if you think that some of those things aren't actually important or necessary, you'd better have a plan for dealing with all the people who disagree. Because...

-----

...school, as it exists today, is an inherently political institution. Both in the "soft" sense that everyone has strong opinions about what it's supposed to do and how it's supposed to work, and in the "hard" sense that it is actually controlled by democratically-accountable governments. (This is double-plus true in the US, where it is controlled by local governments, and therefore doesn't even have the protective insulation of a massive bureaucracy.) Everything about the way schools work is a compromise brokered amongst ideologues and self-dealers. Everything about the way schools work involves a lot of decision-makers trying not to get yelled at by the yelliest people around. If you're looking for elegant purpose-driven top-down design, you won't find it. You could probably make a case that any elegant purpose-driven top-down design would be better than the thing we actually have, but getting there would require finding a way to remove the political element.

-----

Most importantly: public schools are (1) compulsory, (2) universal, and (3) for children. [People who are legally children, anyway, whether or not they are actual children in whatever sense matters to you.]

This means that they cannot let students leave, and they have to keep control of all the students that they aren't allowing to leave.

In the most literal not-a-judgment-but-a-fact sense, they are indeed prisons. They are coercively keeping people inside. They have to do that thing, as per their most fundamental mandate within the current system. The alternatives involve letting kids run around unsupervised, and/or failing to give some kids even the most cursory kind of education, and those things are absolute non-starters under present conditions.

All the normal institutions-for-adults operate on the principle of -- If you really don't want to be here, you can leave, and deal with whatever consequences there may be for leaving. This is not an option for schools, and that fact accounts for...everything.

Classroom structure is built around the necessity of keeping the most-hostile, least-engaged student in the class present and supervised, and then trying to prevent him from disrupting things for everyone else. Because the obvious solution that any other institution would use -- "just cut him loose, he doesn't want to be here and we don't want him here" -- isn't available.

(I once talked to my wife about the rationed bathroom access thing, which is one of the most flagrant nightmare-prison aspects of the school experience. Her response was, "If you let kids use the bathroom whenever they want, as much as they want, then you don't have mandatory universal education anymore. Some of them will never return to the classroom, because they don't want to be there." Which is...obviously true.)

So you have something that replicates many of the features of prison, because it has to accomplish the same basic tasks that prison accomplishes. Yay, Foucault.

[venusoliver]

The Taste of Sweet Silk on Your Lips; Chapter 11 BTS

NOTE: This post will discuss plot points from Chapter 11 my Ao3 fanfiction, The Taste of Sweet Silk on Your Lips. Please refrain from reading further if you'd like to avoid spoilers!

This chapter, if I'm not mistaken, is my longest chapter yet. Woah.

I've almost completely strayed from my original outline. Almost. For the past couple of chapters my outline didn't reasonate with the final result at all, but I think I'm starting to get back on track.

The BDSM chapters are always the most difficult. There's a lot of terminology that can come into play rather quickly, not to mention the struggle to keep things consistent and clear. (Where are Mikasa's hands? How do I describe that? How do I phrase this differently than the last three paragraphs I wrote? Okay, hold on, what's a synonym for—)

Long story short, it's a handful. But when I'm done writing the chapter, when I can finally delete "DRAFT" from the title of my chapter page, it's a feeling I don't feel to often.

I feel proud of myself. And that's an amazing thing :D

But along with BDSM chapters comes references!

Now, my original plan was to actually watch live BDSM performances online. I watched a very solid handful before I started writing this fic, and I learned quite a lot, but in the end..

I'm a procrastinator, okay?

My schoolwork was starting to pile up. I was failing multiple classes (I'm only failing one now, yay for me!), and what does my brain do when there's actual work to be done? Not that. Anything but that.

Now, writing my fic isn't work. I LOVE writing this fic. But typing out extensive cartography notes and typing out prolonged sexual tension can start to get grouped together, and before I knew it—

A week had passed since my last update. That's always when I start to get anxious.

So, instead of taking this slow and watching low-quality footage of shibari clubs in russia, it was just me— my brain— and a very aggressive google searching session.

In the end, I'm still very happy with how things went.

The issue arose initially when I just.. couldn't find the right references. I had the picture in my head of what was going on, but I still needed a picture to look at so that my descriptions wouldn't become to vague and absurd.

Let's start off easy, Mikasa's lingerie.

I had a lot of options when deciding what Mikasa should wear. Something risque, of course, but nothing too revealing. It was a tough decision, but I think this picture does my vision justice! Aside from the shoes. Mikasa is a little too powerful in heels like that.

The next order of business was getting references for the bondage rigging.

The spreader bar was easy. Legs spread, bar in the middle, you're good to go!

Next up was the harness. I had a couple of other options I was debating when deciding on what type of harness I wanted on Mikasa. I originally went with something more dainty, with thinner rope and smaller knots— but once I decided on suspension-esqe rigging near the end of the performance, it only made sense for the harness to be more secure.

As for the arms.. that was the most difficult part of this chapter. Finding a reference, writing it out— when I go back to make minor revisions on the fic (grammatical errors)— it's going to be very hard to stop myself from rewriting that portion of the chapter.

The sheer joy that raced through me when I found this image is unmatched. I had scoured the internet looking for a clean, clear reference for what I wanted. After rephrasing my google search multiple times (shibari arm rigging, arms behind head, arms behind head shibari, etc.)— and praying I wouldn't have to use a p 0rn screenshot as reference, I found this image.

This is precisely what I was going for with her arms. Mikasa is a very fit woman, and I don't doubt that she wouldn't have a problem getting her arms behind herself like this.

In my mind when I pictured Mikasa bent at the hip, legs spread wide, arms lifted upwards behind her— this is precisely the position I envisioned her arms in. I used that reference when describing the actual rigging for the arms as well.

But enough about all the k!nky stuff! This chapter was a lot more sentimental than originally planned.

I'm consistently at odds with myself when writing these chapters, trying to give them the smut I intended while also making their relationship believable.

I ship these two insanely hard, but their dynamic is a really tough one to pinpoint and make work.

They're both very cold and shut off from people in day to day life, so for their relationship to work— they need to be forced together, and they have to be in a situation where their stubbornness pulls them closer rather than pries them apart.

With all of that to keep in mind, bringing in some fluffy aspects is crucial. It makes their connection make more sense. After all, neither one of this girl's is doing random hookups. Not often, anyway.

The fluff ended up coming organically. Even if their performance this chapter was still just a performance and not an actual BDSM scene, aftercare still comes into play.

Hitch and Annie had a far different dynamic because they were friends. They were friends, and experienced in the BDSM scene. They're able to perform without getting emotionally invested— because they don't love each other romantically. There's not this same intimate connection.

As for Mikasa and Annie, it's completely different. Annie loves Mikasa to the point that she's risking quite a lot to keep the girl in her life. Mikasa is new to the scene, but she's enthralled by the idea of letting down her guard and letting someone else pull the reigns for once.

They compliment each other in an intimate, romantic, and s3xual way. The performance itself and the aftermath should reflect that.

So, it does! I found myself smiling quite a bit at the end of the chapter. I really do love these two.

The next chapter will include full fledged smut, thank goodness. I'm both nervous and excited to start writing the chapter. But, for now, I'm probably gonna get some rest.

Thank you all so much for your support. I wouldn't still be writing this fic if I didn't know that there were people out there who enjoyed my work. It makes me smile even when I'm struggling :) I hope to see you all again when I post the next chapter. Thanks so much!!

[papermonkeyism]

Hey Paper! Happy summer! I have a weird question: do you know how to not feel bad about neglecting your note/sketchbooks? I'm writing and planning ideas for a novel (illustrated, and in general pictures help flesh out stuff) as well as plan a D&D campaign, I have a handful of different empty books for these projects but I only manage to fill out a few spreads before sort of freezing. I look at months long gaps and want to rip my books to tiny shreds! Any advice for getting over this? :(

Not sure, I personally just dump everything into the same sketchbook (and then might go back to mark specific pages with book marks or post it bits so I can find stuff like comic scripts and important world building notes later)

Uh, wall-of-text warning. This got kinda long.

I once tried having a separate book for the dinosaur project thingy, but I think I maxed out at, like, eight pages, and the rest is now in the main sketchbook series.

I do however, have a specific tiny pocket sketchbook dedicated for my dragonborn ranger's DnD campaign notes!

So, question: where do you use your sketchbooks?

The main reason my dinosaur book failed was that sometimes I wanted to draw dinosaurs at school, or at a cafe, or at my parents' place, but I had left my dino specific book at home. My imagination doesn't only work at home, I'm always doing something. And sometimes ideas and inspiration just strike, and I have two options: A, doodle them on the general sketchbook then and there and then move on to draw whatever else I might want to doodle after, or B, NOT draw that idea in the general book, and instead wait untill I get back to the specific book, and often end up drawing nothing at all because this specific idea needs to be drawn first, and also risk forgetting the idea or losing inspiration by the time I get back. This can also lead to an art block, when you're only allowing yourself to do this one, specific thing on this one specific book, when your brain might want to sparkle other ideas elsewhere.

The DnD ranger's book, on the other hand, I keep in the same pile with the character's sheet and her spell card deck. So whenever I get out to go roleplaying, the tiny sketchbook comes with me, and it'll always be at hand when I need to take notes, because that's its main function. (I have taken roleplaying notes on the general sketchbook too, like my monk and warlock are both on the main books, but since the campaigns have been so long, I'd now need to bring two or even three separate sketchbooks to keep all my notes at hand and it's a hassle) But I know I need this specific book when I'm at this specific place, so it's easier to keep consistent.

It is also perfectly normal (for me) to get obsessed by a certain headworld or project for extended periods of time, but also to switch on the fly when a random idea strikes me. My sketchbook's have like archaeological layers. Like "here's a dinosaur era, here's an entire period dominated by Wurr, here's a single drawing of a completely unrelated project, another dinosaur phase, and here's now half a sketchbook of Entica with some random pokemon occasionally sprinkled in". So I can't really predict what I'll feel like drawing at any given time. What if I'm at my parents' place, and have sketchbooks for some of my different projects, but then I see some new discovery on the internet, and I'm suddenly on a dinosaur phase again? Do I need to keep ALL the specific sketchbooks at hand wherever I go? That could make multiple kilograms by now. I might be really into a world for a long while, and then neglect it for another headworld for months, sometimes even years before circling back. That happens.

Maybe there's pressure to create pretty, concise and consistent content, but that can also turn into a block. If you only allow yourself to do Pretty and Perfect, you might never get anything done. (this is why my sketchbooks have pages of experimental messes and outright ruined pages. Sometimes you just need to splatter coffee all over a page to make it less intentionally pretty, so there's less things to worry about. Sketchbooks are sllowed to be messy)

One of my DnD buddies makes messy notes on scrap paper during sessions, but collects them in this pretty, hand made book afterwards. Maybe that's an option too? Collect notes from general sketchbook, if you have one, into the specific ones by copying them? Or maybe even scrapbook them instead? Like you could make your notes in a general book whenever you think them up, maybe even use a sketchbook with tearable pages, and then cut and paste pages on their designated project books later?

If you have a specific place where you work, like a specific desk, maybe have a little book case on it with all the sketchbooks, so you have them at hand and can switch books depending on what you're working on at any given moment.

Or if you have specific places to get into mood (DnD campaign planning always happen on this specific chair, or at a coffee shop, but novel writing at the library? So today you know you're gonna go to a library, so you know in advance you'll be working on a novel and need the novel note sketchbook. Back before my Brainstorm Buddy moved out of town, I knew whenever I was visiting, we'd be working on comics (or pretended to be working on comics) , so I had my comic folder with me whenever I went to see her. I sometimes still get into Wurr mode whenever I walk this specific road to where she used to live)

(or just dump everything into the same book and bookmarking the heck out of it with color coded post it bits like some dumbass, a.k.a me.)

Any helpful?